2012年9月25日星期二

哟~~~~~~~~~~~~~

这宁静的客厅..
我开着电视, 电视发出节目的声音...
我... 开了电脑... 想抒发抒发心情...

PMR 就剩下... 大概2个星期!
大多数的人, 都在拼了~
而我, 当然开始了... 日子越减少, 就有点紧张...

我今天... 整个下午睡了...
最近很累... 不知是因为那天过于的累, 而最近这几天都那么累...
不明白...
所以我把读书时间改为晚上...
不错的...

这郁闷的客厅...
就连读书的MOOD也弄掉了...

我感受到我很压力....
很很很压力...
每一天都不知如何度过! 痛苦...

为何?
刚看到这个...
"我总是喜欢故意突然不找你,看看你会不会发现缺少了我而主动找我,却每次都是我发现自己不能缺了你!"
我需要人陪我~
不需要太烦... 只要让我心没那么....

客厅冷冷清清...
电话冷清...
强逼拿书来读, 就为了明年的日子和未来的前途...
我希望的人, 很轻松...
独生的孩子 , 有好当然有坏... 
我今年一直都是以坏度过日子, T.T 

我很想念他们阿! 
很想找他们... 
可是等下他们又叫我去读书!!! :( 
可是我挨一挨就没事了... 可是也要读书啊!!

我只能忍着! 我每一天几乎都不想说话了...
因为他们令我失望...
我和你痛苦... 有种感觉是, 我一直都在一厢情愿... TMD. -. -

我...........
不懂.....
度过了这次, 应该就会更好过了吧?!
希望日子快过!
可是我的成绩。。。。 :(

谁能帮我啊?!!!!!!?

2012年9月23日星期日

Band Annual gathering 2012.

Band Annual gathering over.

Yesterday. 22/9/2012

After skul.. I went JJ to buy MP thing myself.
On the way to JJ, a bit scare.. bt, I walk to there and back to skul ASAP !! :D
So, I safe. all the way. ;)

Back to skul, I done all the decoration.
Its Ganjiong! woah ! Chikek. really.
I feel awesome. and, i donno where I get those idea and sense from. xD
proud of myself. ;)



I like this. :D Its a SMILE. :) and add up glowing rod. ;) Awesome. :P



and, lucky I have their help. ;)

pattern. -- one of the helper. :)


our special lucky draw. ring. ;)


Keep Sign. ;)


we have awesome food, dinner by Bee's cathering.




Starting starting...


Counter.

Form 2.

The guys.

Ajk tinggis & teacher.


They also din't jio me. :(

 
form 5. Everyone have enjoy the dinner. :D
Oh. That day din't help form 5s take picture. :( Sorry.


Yesterday. A big day for band members.
And, I have tired on the whole day. need to do everything before this annual gathering, not easy. :)
It takes experience for me.
And, them, they give me support. they help. they are my best buddy man ! I feel PROUD that I had know them.
[For fun, see the pic. It is like , High to short, Do re mi. No smile, Smile, LAUGH. Its Life. ;)]


The FAMILY. My 2nd FAMILY on 2012.
I love it. ;) LOVE it. SUPER LOVE !!
But, What can I do next year. Watch out. ;)

This time MP, we have a bit special.
We have slideshow , Games, Lucky draw.

They watching j.keong n j.hui's SLIDESHOW. ;)

Tha games.

while playing banana game. they are the 'dai biao' who win. xD

The girl. :) [Sorry, I that day din't take photo with four of them]

Well. Everything over.
Last year band annual gathering I dint present. this year, I have try my very best to do it. I get back all those comments, I gamdong a. :)
But , So SORRY. I din't arrange and a bit bit kelam kabut this year.
SORRY din't take picture of form5s.
SORRY din't take pic for OUR LAST.
SORRY , I din't take picture with the threess.
SORRY, AND SORRY. SORRY.
But, I really miss it.
I donno what am I thinking.
but, I hope. those feeling wont dissapear.
Coz, that are DIFFICULT to do it .... :')

I have do all the best for our relationship. Hope I can BERUSAHA, continue protect this family.

JiaYou.

After annual gathering.
I really need to Go on my PMR.
It LEFT ONLY 2 weeks.
I AIM 5A.
God bless me. I bless myself.

Fren, Give me some support.
Family, Give me more support.
Anyway, I am pressure.
My family, fren, me myself, give me maybe a lot of pressure.

I hope. I can do it.
:)

I MISS ANNUAL GATHERING.

2012年9月18日星期二

:') 大道理....



Cuteeeeeee Right ? Awwwwwwww. @.@
HAHA!
Let me miss my 2 lover leh.
Kuma and Yongyin. <3 p="p">
人心险恶啊~
越是你的朋友, 越是对你好, 就有可能陷害你....
没办法, 好人就是容易让人误会...
只能说听天由命~ :)

也希望我做的都没白费~

只能说, 自作聪明...
根本就是自己认为而已!!
别人也没说过!!!
像XX说的, 不要脸...
我很讨厌他将讲... :(
Whatever. 我不会理他说的话, bcoz its hurt. :(
Dulan. :')

2012年9月17日星期一

哈哈~

有预感...

来临的一年, 好像会发生蛮多事....

做好心理准备...

准备冲,

解决一切事!!!

不靠任何人!!!

:D

[唷! 口气很大, 希望做到咯! ;)]

唷~ :)

就是知道没人看...
才有信心写.... :P

心情都好了一大半~

刚刚好像把我的不开心给了他们俩...
现在我去道歉下呗!!

嗯, 这个坏习惯来的, 我也要来改改呗~ ;)

叹~


今天马来西亚日~ 放假一天...
我昨天刚从jiahui那儿住了2天回来...

今天依然去补习... 因为pmr真的要来临了~
补习完后, 雨也刚下完阿~
很多人都陆陆续续回家了...
我爸爸迟来载我, 我对这有阴影...
幸好我有我干爸, 他才大我2岁, 可是他给的安全感, 真的很实用...
他陪我说说话~ :)
过后, 我心情不好, 我说了他...

我真的很不爽... 不是不爽他拉... 而是我爸...
我很没安全感... 有时真的和懊恼, 为什么我没哥哥~ :(
我找了他们... 他们一个懒, 一个讲我...
OMG. 在那时, 的我... 真的不想解释任何东西... 只想有人陪陪我...
他们既然那样, 我宁愿自己静静~
我不理任何事... 我爸来了.. 我上车, 靠着开着窗的门... 然后看着外面 , 吹吹刚下雨凉凉的风~
我把一切烦恼丢给风了~  回到家, 依然没事~

他们...
都说了, 如果我很在意一段友情, 那友情一定不会长久的!!!
因为可能我太在乎....
我讨厌!
他们好像让我接受到, 世界时残酷的... 现实的... 本来已不信的我, 现在又变回以前的我... 不相信人... 这是他们让我一再的失望 的 不得不... 不知他们俩, 还有他们... 我为他们的熬夜, 成为了没有什么的什么...
我和他们的友情, 就让他们觉得我变了, 我面对他们, 只有一个不自在、辛苦... :(
我也要拉下脸, 来面对我跟他们不是很熟的人~ 希望不会白费心机... 这是我'爸'希望我有能力保护这个大家庭的, 我一定要全力以赴! 我相信, 我受一点点委屈, 是不用紧的~
本来就是想, 有个'爸'和'哥', 有时忍不住了, 可以找他们说说... 可是, 不懂为什么, 我觉得我给他们带来了 烦~ 所以, 我会尽量尽量忍着... 拜托你们别觉得我烦~

我这个星期... 我们会有gathering..
我会很舍不得的~
我打算买月饼...
那天去看, 很贵下 -.-
我开始存钱了...
希望这星期有办法买到...
这不是要讨好谁, 而是希望我的家人都开心...
也在存钱买给我家人... 希望他们不会让我伤心了~ 希望他们开心... :)
我不懂他们会不会珍惜, 还是觉得.... 月饼而已嘛?! 自己不能买? 可是这是我心意啊!

我不懂有没有人看到...
这是只有一个小角落 让我发发泄, 让我抱着那小小小之又小的机会, 以为他们会看见的小小地方... 就由着我吧?

相信吗? 我今晚真的很伤心, 边写边哭, 还是第一次... 旁边有家人, 不敢太做作、大动作...
我静静的... 瞒过一切.... 相信我自己, 写完了, 就松了点了~

我的人生就是这样, 好像一直要靠人来度过! 希望这个中学, 能让我长大!

恩! 我要忍! 很快就度过了....

我写了最后一封信给他们, 可是, 我怕我自己有自作聪明, 自讨苦吃... SIASUI ~
我不敢给....
听天由命先吧? 我收着先吧?
那天我带去, 如果你们心情好, 我就不给, 如果你们闷, 我就给咯~ ;)
我很聪明吧?

我想啊~ 天是要我自己独立... 看看我的能力! 我要证明阿~
加油!!!! :'(

那天我和jiahui去jj买东西...
我们被骗...
我很不爽、不开心、还在怕怕的叻~
可以说是幸好jh在...
Jh好像比我害怕... 我当然要觉得没事的... :) 不然会变本加厉对吗?
我让她打给cg n ck.
cg没听电话, 幸好ck听了...
jh 她哭了... 我也吓到了... 幸好有ck陪她了~
我自己有能力的.... :')
当作作慈善吧!
可是, 他们如果没拿掉我的钱, 我就能快快买个月饼了... 可惜啊! 要重新存...
晚上有cg陪下, ck陪下... 真的心情都变好了下!
果然是我心目中的爸和哥~

过了就算了... 等着mp的来临...
只希望没事发生~

我要改变自己!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
我的目标!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
加油咯! ;)

什么东西都让我自己失望了...
PMR, 我绝对不能让自己失望了...
这次就AIM 5个A 吧!!!
别再让自己SIASUI了!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JIAYOU. :'/

2012年9月8日星期六

好.. 我决定...

当我很在乎你们时...
你们当的是什么?

好吧?! 我就顺其自然...
让我写完最后一封信/留言...
我就此命中注定...
一心一意做我的事...
然后对于你们俩...

希望, 我们会更更更好而已! ^.^
老话一句...

顺其自然呗!!! ^.<

喂! 要坚强啊! 不需要别人的怜悯!! :'(

我真是一个太会乱想的人!!!!

我不容许我再乱想!!!!!!

不许!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

能限制此事,,

对我而言只有一个办法!

就是, 别在会有我自己在乎的人出现.....

我再帮我自己找出路, 帮我家族找救...

不是伟大!!! 而是, 我想让我也在乎的人知道... 我并非你们想象的弱!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

有时, 和你们说说心事, 多了/久了, 就会觉得很....

可是没人懂我的处境啊!

所以, 竟然没人听... 觉得还蛮烦的~

我要变坚强!!!!

不和任何人说我的事!!!

我相信我!!! 我能做到的!!

只要我想做!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

我的狠心、伤... 别忘了, 是你们, 让我不得不自己学会跌倒了自己爬起来...

我没在怨谁, 反而要谢谢他们呢!!!! :')

怜悯? 可怜?
这是不会在我的世界出现, 也不可能从别人身上得到的!!!
我要靠自己!!! ;')

2012年9月7日星期五

ERMM.

What should I tell out my feeling now?

My feeling now iss...
No good. Very no good. Honestly, NO GOOD !

Why I am just think the peace... EVERYone.
not one, is EVERYONE... They wan me accept this thing..
[The world wont have happy ending] [everyone gt fake n good]
But, I can tell, I was mature frm last year november, coz that thing..
I won't forget the world of mine that time.. Its like at HELL...
Scary. Sad. Hurts.

I have many thing. bt, I donno who to tell.
but , why? WHY?!!
I like everyday also gt thing happen de... -.-
I also donno leh.
Then I sure tell that people who I trust , or need mahh.. -.-
Then kena... ><
what ...
Maybe really got something like..
Err... I am too annoyingg. Tsk. -.-

Btt.. I also really got wrong...
Why I need other people suffer with me, and dint have any relationship with me ?
Why I so trust those happy family thing d ??
Why I need love them so much ?
I stupid, right ?

I hurt, sad, dont forget... Is u all give me d...
And, U all give me that pattern, say, I must ACCEPT all this !!!
What what now ?!! =.= 

Alright. I really love this ...
But, many thing need to think...
NO ONE, din't have anyone think my thing before frm my waayy..
Truth is, in the world, own family is most care & love u one.. No wonder I soo LOVE them , no wonder I take my heart out to themm...
Neverrr. Never have anyone think for me...
I need to gaodim this, that , those , them, they, there, everything that pasal dgn ini....
I need to do it, within 1 year ...
1 YEAR !!! Enough ? I tell myself. NOT I can or not, is I MUST !!!! :')

Everything would be Okay, I trust... GUA.

Ok. I can accept. I can do all the thing. I can sendiri tahan.
But, I need a talk. I need them. I need fren. I need family. I need Teman, bt not share. I need people...
For now... no one know my situation..

My situation..
I Love my home, I love my family. But, I dont like I dint have one Gor Gor, Jie Jie can talk.. :(
When having goods, sure happy... But, when having sad thing, got 'heart' thing, no one can help u... although family can help, bt also paiseh tell out. and they sure say u , haiyo. why u think like tht, u should like that.. blah blah blah.. -.- lazy make explanation.
Thats why lahh. Always soooo sia sui, go OUT find gor gor or jie jie. Yeeeeeeeeeeeee... [jk , now i can imagine he beside me and say : Yerrr. ><]
Every people who got sister n brother, wan a lonely style... But, Its a person, really.... Feel no good de...
Although no one quarrel v u , no one argueing for watching tv or games or comp or wat... bt, for me, I more wan quarrel.. :(
{Well, the thing is, when I quarrel with outside those 'BBF', I will scare, coz they din;t have pasal v me, they dint have same DNA, bt real one, they have, although quarrel, bt a while, nothing dy}
Ok. Siasui loh. Yerr.. Now, they don wan chap u, scold u, guai lan u , pek cek u liaoo.. Its also ur wrong, u know, Chai Sze Wha ?!!!
siaasuii...

Everytime, you know I bad mood, u say those thing again. I more more more bad mood. then , I really dissapointed liao. I beh tahan liao... :(

Ok... Now, I write liao.. bt also din't feel good... :(
I think, this time really hurts me... :'(
I thould not continue like this , gila gila liao... I should not hiao hiao liao...
I must do everything, then lastly, I can rest...
And, I KEEP telling myself. DON'T TELL OTHERS MY THING, COZ ALL THIS THING, IF MY THING!!! NO ONE WILL KORLIAN U.... I ady write at most important place, let me rmb alwayssssssssssssssssss.

Well. I need to do something. then I can give HIM fang ximm. but, now, the most important thing I need to do iss... go find back him... although I sad, I hurt. but, I most don wan lost him this PAPA, this fren. :'(

Sorry to ALL people. Me, Goes. She , Come. Long time ago, MAYBE, Me, come again. but, after, go again. bt, I , now, need, to, go.

*ps. anyone saw this. find me. I juz need a person to talk. bt, hope can really talk in this topic. bt, i know, this thing only gt 4 people can help me.. bt, donno they will meet this or not. :) Nvm, let me tonight, ONLY, syok myself... :)




















2012年9月1日星期六

Big secret.

Big secret. Finally beh tahan say out. Since not much ppl will see my blog. ahahhaa! :)
I have A lot of secret in my ipad. Including to my other fren. ;)
Sometime hope them can see, hope time hope they wont. :)
This is wat GEMINI 's character. :D

1 week .

28/8-31/8

After 1 week tired with band buddies.
Really have a nice time with them. :)
Although many thing happening. :')

28,29/8 - we have keep rehearsal-ing whole morning and whole night. Percussion really have a tired weeks, especially those afternoon sessions. But, them, those need to rehearsal at night, more tired, coz they need to do many thing. :/
But all this had over. :')

30/8 - We have our Day to Go ~
The day we really go this parade. We have get 2nd price and we 上报拉! :D
 
真的很爽~ :) hahahhaa! :D

31/8 , morning. We go dataran merdeka. We have nice time. ;) Nice perform. Nice gather. We dint forget peigie. I can feel her sad feeling. ;) but , I cant do anything accept call her dont sad liao. :(

Me beh hiao ba d, Call all ppl take picture. == LOL.

Then, going back home after that. Tired. sleep long 16hour. HAHHA.
This is my busy,tired week. :)

Happen many thing. But all solve.
This week, I really feel happy. Coz the 2 guy , that I have seem them as my vry super good 'gor gor', ours relationship bcom more good. Gam Dong. :')
Bt, now I think nothing.
Nothing else will be happen, i think, if next time we have happen thing againn.
I hope that, we are really super best buddy, and, I love them. Hehe! ;)

For others. I love them, bcoz they let me MORE Love band. :D
They really help a lots too. :)
The thing is, those percussion d family, they have gave us EVERGY ! Love it. ;)

This week. Although that monday, I have hurt on my leg. after that also gasttric in tht merdeka morning... but all this have been OVER. God Bless me. :) Everyone hurts too. I Tahan all the way. I have try my best. I proud of myself, u know? :) Thanks those ppl who care me, and sorry that I stubborn.. :(

Conclusion is. heard that, that is after 4 year d. we got parade again after 4 year. The first year. we done ! :) We have last parade with form 5s !!! :D I love it, miss it, think it, 珍惜~ :')

Nothing can say after this. coz, I need to CHIONG my Revision ... PMR is coming. Need to use 1 month only.. People was walking through PMR, now, I must RUN !! JiaYou lohh. Haiks. =.=''